SIS WANTS TO QUIT COLLEGE

What would you do if your sibling dumped on you that they wanted to drop out of school?

Hi Jenna! My younger sister is in her sophomore year away at college. She recently called me and told me college is becoming too stressful and she is thinking of dropping out. She doesn’t seem to have much of a plan and she refuses to talk to our parents about it. I want to help her through this stressful time but I’m scared to give her the wrong advice and for her to end up in the wrong situation. What do I say!

Hi there! It sounds like you're in a tough spot, but it's great that your sister reached out to you for support! It's totally understandable to feel worried about giving the right advice, especially when the stakes are high. I think it would be wise to make sure that she is okay emotionally before getting into any kind of heated discussions about school. Ask her if there is anything else going on she wants to talk about. Most campuses have mental health services available for students, so maybe encourage her to talk to a counselor about the stressors in her life. Some also have advisors to ask about academic and career advice which could be helpful as well. 

It's important to listen to your sister without judgment and validate her feelings of stress and uncertainty. Encourage her to explore why college feels overwhelming for her and what specifically is causing her distress. If it is the workload, offer to help her study and encourage her to take fewer classes next semester. If it is an issue with the living situation or social life, offer to come visit and figure out a better solution. Calls and FaceTimes can help get through stressful or lonely times too. Overall, just try to think-tank ways to make her current commitment to her education work. Transferring to a college in commuting distance from home could also hopefully act as an option. That could make it possible to switch to part time and explore new employment options simultaneously. If you exhaust several ideas and solutions and she is still feeling like college is not the right place for her, then you can move on to discussing other paths.

From there, you can gently suggest exploring alternative options together, such as taking a leave of absence to regroup, or considering other directions that align with her interests and goals. Remind her that it's okay to feel lost sometimes and that seeking guidance doesn't mean she's failing. Work together to come up with a realistic plan for her future. There are several career tests you can find online to help generate new ideas based on her talents and passions. Perhaps starting a side hustle or business of her own would be something that would interest her? Get creative with it and come up with some attainable goals.

Encouraging her to have an open and honest conversation with your parents might also be beneficial, as they could offer additional support and perspective. I don’t know how understanding they are, but you could help advocate for her in the conversation if you feel like it would be needed. Ultimately, your role is to be there for her, provide encouragement, and help her explore her options so she can make an informed decision that feels right for her. 

College isn’t for everyone, just as jumping into the workforce isn’t for everyone. Both are difficult and require commitment and hard work. Your sister will find her way. It is not all on you to fix it for her, although being the older sibling puts you in a great position to help. Wish you both all the luck and blessings as you navigate this next chapter together!