EYES ON SOMEONE ELSE’S GUY

I have a major crush on one of the guys in my friend group… and of course, he has a girlfriend. She’s nice, they seem solid, and I would never make a move but that doesn’t stop the feelings. We click so easily, he makes me laugh, sometimes it feels flirty. I know it’s wrong, but part of me wonders if he feels it too. How do i get rid of these feelings?

You are definitely NOT the first person to catch feelings for a taken man—especially one you see often, vibe well with, and have undeniable chemistry with. Let’s get one thing straight: liking someone doesn’t make you a villain. Acting on it is a totally different story. Right now, you're in that dangerous imagination zone where your brain is romanticizing scenarios that are not set in reality, and that’s where the trouble starts brewing. But if you can snap out of it, you can nip this little problem in the bud. 

The truth is, crushes thrive in fantasy. You’re only seeing the best, most charming parts of him—especially in group settings where everyone’s relaxed, having fun and putting their best foot forward. You don’t see the arguments, the boring routines, the daily reality of his relationship. The version of him you’re crushing on might not even be completely real. And no matter how tempting it is to decode every long glance or inside joke, it’s a slippery slope to delusion. Flirty doesn’t always mean available. Sometimes it just means friendly and a bit unaware.

Now let’s talk about what you need. What is it about this guy that’s pulling you in? Is it the attention? The emotional connection? The way he makes you feel seen or safe? Pinpoint that, because that’s the real question. Once you figure out what you’re actually craving, you can start looking for it in someone who is actually available and still offering all the things you want. You don’t need to be the second lead in someone else’s love story when you could be the main character in your own.

Start creating distance where you can. That doesn’t mean ghosting your entire friend group or acting weird—but maybe cool it on the private convos, the late-night texts, or those little moments where it starts to feel like something more. Separate yourself from him a bit more, or bring a third person close as a buffer so y’all don’t end up alone too much. Emotional boundaries matter just as much as physical ones. You can’t fully move on if you’re still feeding the crush with constant access and overthinking. Try to shift your focus onto other things. Focus on yourself and your goals or maybe get out there and go on some dates to try to move on. 

Bottom line? These feelings aren’t shameful, but they are your responsibility. Crushes come and go, and the best way to let go of one is to stop watering it. Respect his relationship, protect your peace, and keep it pushing. The right person for you won’t already belong to someone else—and when he shows up, you won’t be stuck wondering if it’s mutual. You’ll just know. Good luck! Xo