ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE

The guy I’m dating told me its a red flag that I’m always forgetting things a his place and in his car. The truth is I leave things behind sometimes on purpose to mark my territory until we have an exclusive commitment. Do I tell him the truth to get him off my back or take this to the grave? Am I crazy or have we all done this lol…

No, you’re not crazy and yes, a lot more of us have done this than will ever admit it out loud. Forgetting a bobby pin here or a hoodie there isn’t just forgetfulness, it’s ancient feminine psychological warfare. If guys get to call the shots on the pace of things, we get to mark the passenger seat like it’s ours. Balance.

Now, let’s talk red flags. The fact that he noticed and called it out like it’s some kind of character flaw? That’s interesting. Is he just observant or is he hyper-aware because he’s keeping his options open and doesn’t want physical reminders of you creeping in on him? If he’s not ready to be exclusive, thats one thing. But to pick you apart and expect you to be more low-maintenance and less forgetful so early on says a lot about him. Why is he so bothered…?

Whether to tell him the truth depends on your goal. If you’re trying to move things into “official” territory, honesty might help. A cheeky, “Okay fine, sometimes I leave stuff so the other girls know I exist,” could be the playful nudge that starts the exclusivity talk. But if you think he’ll freak out or twist it into something manipulative? Play dumb and hope for the best. Or drop him completely for someone you don't have to play mind games with. Just an idea.

Be real with yourself for a sec: are you leaving stuff because you’re claiming what’s yours… or clinging to something that isn’t? If you're feeling the need to nest in his space before he’s invited you to, maybe that’s a sign you’re craving commitment he hasn’t promised yet. Also, if you have strong suspicions of other people being in the mix, are you considering other people for yourself as well? Really evaluate if exclusivity is realistically in your future before you try to trap or scare away anyone else. The goal is to be with someone who actually wants to be with you. Crazy, I know. 

Bottom line? You’re trying to be strategic and its backfiring a little bit. Maybe its time to evaluate how you both feel and where you stand. As hard as those conversations are, the truth is easier to deal with than the constant anxiety and unknowns. Best of luck figuring out your next steps! Xo