NANNY CONFESSION: MOM'S (SECRET) NIGHT OUT

I am a nanny too and after reading last weeks submission I had to confess something that has been bothering me for a while. Months ago, the dad I work for was on a business trip. I knew I would have to work some extra hours to help out, but after he left the mom pulled me aside and gave me a huge bonus to stay overnight with the kids because she “just needed to get away” and asked me to keep it between us. At the time I didn’t think anything of it but lately I have had so much anxiety about it. Not sure if it is because I’m hiding it or because my gut is telling me something shady is going on. What do I do?

As I said last week - the nanny knows everything! It is totally understandable that this situation is weighing heavily on you because you are involved in this family’s dynamics every single day. My best advice on what to do is to basically do nothing at all. Shocking I know, but let me explain…

I know a lot of people would suggest to have a conversation and set boundaries and express your feelings in this situation. Unpopular opinion here - I think you just need to mind your business. Your role is to care for the children and ultimately, the children are being taken care of. Really reflect on the situation - Were the children in any kind of harms way? No. Did the mom’s request cross some kind of professional boundary? Not really. You get paid to watch the kids, and you were watching the kids. Sure you could argue secret-keeping isn’t in your job description, but I just don’t think you confronting anyone about this is going to do any good. Your job is to take care of the children, not manage their parents life choices or mediate their marital problems.

As far as your anxiety about the whole situation, try venting to someone you trust to get it out once and for all. Maybe writing this submission will be all the help you need to let it go! If you start to notice other signs of dishonesty or dysfunction, then you can maybe speak up (or at least do a little sleuthing). Whatever you do, don’t make any harsh accusations or assumptions with such little factual information. 

I know it can be hard to watch other people make poor decisions that could negatively affect their life. At the end of the day, we all have enough of our own shit to worry about. Making someone else’s drama your problem is only going to weigh you down. Always try your best to stay in your lane so you are not poisoning yourself with other people’s toxicity. Show up at work, take great care of those children, collect your paycheck, and worry about your dang self. It is not worth the stress! Xo