LETTING GO OF A GRUDGE

I struggle with holding grudges from past relationships and friendships. What are some ways to learn to let things go and move on instead of holding on to the anger and being stuck in the negativity?

Letting go of grudges and moving on is not for the weak. When wronged, it is easy to be angry, disappointed and sad. It is natural to want to shout from the rooftops how poorly that person treated you. It can be a challenging process to let things go because it feels like you are accepting defeat and allowing the person that hurt you to win. I’m here to tell you the real win is peace of mind knowing that grey cloud is not consuming your life anymore. 

The first step to moving on and letting go of any difficult situation is taking a minute to swallow the pill of what happened to you. Acknowledge the feelings and validate your emotions. Whatever happened - you are allowed to feel angry, sad, envious, confused, etc. Suppressing feelings and pushing them away only leads to more resentment and anxiety. Give yourself a set period of time to feel the feels. A deadline almost. Lets say you just went through a breakup. Give yourself, say, a two week period to be sad, cry and grieve. But when you hit your time mark, you have to start to pick yourself up. 

To start to move on, clear your environment. Surround yourself with supportive and kind people. Focus on the present. Spend your time in your hobbies. Do not be afraid to purge your social media so the people from your past are out of sight, out of mind. Check some things off your bucket list. Try new restaurants, travel to new places. Most of all, forgive yourself for any part you played in the unpleasant situation. You can not go back in time no matter how much you want to. Whats done is done, what was said was said. Try to accept that whatever happened was for a bigger reason, and leave it in the past. 

Harboring resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. The more you hold on to hateful feelings, the more it eats you up inside. Sometimes the person you feel angry at does not even know how they hurt you. We are human. We all make mistakes. We are all the villain in someones story. Give yourself grace, have firm boundaries with people, and spend more time with true loved ones who fill your cup.

Ultimately, the only thing that can heal you is time. And letting go can sometimes take more time when we think because it is not linear and thats okay. Every day and every step you take will bring you closer to claiming your freedom and peace from the negative situation. Good luck on whatever healing journey you are on. Be  patient with yourself and trust the process! Xo