GETTING OVER FIRST DATE NERVES

How do you get over the dating jitters?

I have so much first date anxiety!!! help!!!

Alright guys - heres the first date boot camp you did not ask for but definitely need. We’re going to cover what to wear, places to suggest, how to make sure you are safe - all that jazz.  

Step one is planing the date where you will feel comfortable. Pick a place you have been to before so you do not feel like a total fish out of water. If dinner feels really intimidating, go for drinks, coffee or lunch. Sometimes meeting up in the daylight takes some of the pressure off - I don’t know why but it does. Choosing a place where a reservation has to be made may help keep both parties accountable to the date if making plans has not been a strong suit of yours. First dates overall should be in a busy public place. And as much as we love a man that picks us up in the big truck and brings us flowers (just me?), I really suggest meeting them at the location instead. Once you scan that there is no stranger danger, you can get the full princess treatment next time. 

Step two is getting ready for the date. Make sure you are wearing an outfit that is comfortable and makes you feel beautiful. A first date is not the time to whip out the tight jeans you can't sit in. Passing out from claustrophobia is not the best first impression. We do not need to try the new makeup technique either. Casual, cute, and authentic is the way to go. Show off your best features and pick an outfit that reflects your personality and style. Remember that confidence is the best accessory. 

Step 3; approaching the date will be the most nerve-wracking part. Ask your date to either wait for you in the parking lot and walk in together, or have them wait for you inside so they can see you walk in. Try not to be the one sitting and waiting inside if possible. Make sure you are on time and greet them with whatever feels appropriate. I usually go for a cute “so nice to finally meet you!” and a side hug. Be present, stay off your phone, and have a few go-to questions in mind for when the natural conversation dies down. Always give a friend your location so someone knows where you are. I’ve even dined in the same restaurant in support of friends on a date if need be. Whatever support you need to feel confident and safe is okay. Just remember to trust your gut and if something feels dangerous, excuse yourself to the bathroom and call someone immediately and make a plan to get out of there. 

The thought we harp on most when preparing for a first date is “are they going to like me” and heres the thing: they probably will, and if not, that’s fine too, you never have to see them again. Same thing goes for the fear of you not liking them. The truth about dating is that it really is unserious at first. When you have only talked to somebody for a few days or weeks, you really do not owe them anything. If it is not feeling right, it is so easy to just say something like: “Hey I really think you’re great but I’m just not feeling the spark I’m looking for here. Wish you all the best!”. The trusty compliment sandwich never fails.  

Now lets cover the worst case scenario. The date sucks or you get some kind of rejection text after. You thank them for their time, and you move on to the next. There is someone for everyone, which also means not everyone will be a match. We are not going to crawl into a hole and mourn every rejection as an attack on who we are. It was not the one, that is okay, and there are more where that came from. There is nothing wrong with you, babe. Their loss. 

The only way to find a prince is to kiss a few frogs. And it only has to work out once. So enjoy the process and cultivate a list of things you like and don’t like. Remember your value and for the love of all that is holy: DO NOT SETTLE. There are billions of people in this world. Your soulmate is not the one that confuses you or acts unsure about you. Hold yourself at high value and a high value person will find you. 

You are brilliant, intelligent, hilarious and magnetic. This person is simply just that; a person. You are under no pressure to perform a certain way or to be anyone but yourself. Have fun and remember you are the prize!