FIBBING FRIEND

How would you deal with a friend that is always stretching the truth?

I have a friend that is always telling stories that are clearly full of crap. He embellishes details and lies about small things that he debunks later because he cant remember his own white lies. Have you ever experienced a person like this? How do you continue to listen to them chatting without losing your mind? 

You would be hard pressed to find a person that has never experienced a bullshitter at some point in their life. And if you think you haven’t, you have, and they just had you fooled. In my experience, a lot of these people do not even realize they’re doing it. Whether it is to make people like them or just the high of keeping people entertained - sometimes it really is harmless. Other times, though, there could be hurtful intentions and those are the individuals to stay away from. Far far away. 

I really believe that sometimes people fabricate stories purely with the intention of making others laugh and react. The best way to deal with these situations is to just take everything with a grain of salt. Do not invest too much energy in what is true and what is not. Sometimes these stories are just a people-pleasing performance. Think of it more as entertainment than serious conversation. You can even play into it a bit and have your own fun. If the details do not harm anyone or hold any serious value, let your friend go off and tell his stories. 

You might start to be concerned if your friend embellishes the truth with intentions to manipulate or hurt others. Watch for when their white lies come at times when they are cornered or uncomfortable. Do they stretch the truth not only to make themselves look better, but to intentionally make others look worse? Are they lying to cover up who they are with, where they are or what they are doing?? This is when the bullshitting becomes actual pathological lying. Someone like this is self serving and toxic and probably should not be trusted. 

If the nonsense really gets on your nerves to a point of no return, try to steer conversation towards topics that are difficult to exaggerate. You can gently challenge their stories in a non-confrontational way by just saying something like “thats not how I remember it” or “if you say so” or “I thought you said ____”. Honestly though, a good bullshitter can talk their way out of anything. At the end of the day, the best plan of action is to just tune out the tall tales as best you can and mind your business.  

Ultimately, a lie is a lie and if dishonesty bothers you, no matter how innocent, you do not have to be around it if you do not want to. The bullshitter will keep bullshitting. The worst kind of liar is the one that lies to himself. If its relatively innocent, more of a joke, and does not bother you much, just try to ignore it and laugh it off as best you can. Life is too short to be the moral-compass police, calling people out on their deceitful behavior - you’d burn out before you’d make a big enough difference truthfully. Best of luck with your big talker of a friend! Sending lots of love and patience your way. Xo