DEBT OF A FRIEND

How do you ask a friend to pay you what they owe?

Recently I went to a concert with two friends. I was the one who found the tickets so I checked out using my card. Both friends agreed to pay for their portion of the bill afterwards. The problem is the concert has now come and gone and one of the girls still hasn’t paid me back. I definitely let it go for way too long thinking maybe she would pay me the night of the show. How do I ask her for the money? 

Talking money can be super uncomfortable, but it is never too late to set the record straight. Generally speaking, it is irresponsible and disrespectful to not pay someone for your share of an item or experience, so I’m sorry that your friend has put you in this position! Although it is awkward, you have every right to ask for the money that is owed to you, and you are doing nothing wrong by asking. 

The best way approach this, in my opinion, is head on. Of course I hope your friend truly just forgot and as soon as you ask will jump to pay you back. However, if for some reason she is avoiding doing so, you beating around the bush will not work. Be friendly of course, but straightforward and firm. If you can approach her in person, that would be best. Say something like: “Hey! I never got your payment for the concert tickets. I know things have been busy. Can you please check on that and get it to me?” By saying “I never received it” instead of “you never sent it”, you are addressing the issue without being accusatory, therefore avoiding any negative reaction to the question. 

If she does not send it to you immediately, give her a timeline for when you expect the payment by. If you are super uncomfortable being that direct, you can always say you need the money to pay a bill or something along those lines, adding a little pressure to the situation. Remind her of what she owes as per your original agreement, give her a timeline to settle that reimbursement, and most of all, stop paying for friends who are unreliable. 

People are not perfect. Life gets hectic and we are only human. We forget things. But any devoted friend would be urgent about paying you back because they would care about making you feel taken advantage of. If you have a friend that does not consider you, your feelings, your time, your effort, your money… and it is not an honest mistake or slip of the mind… then they do not appreciate you. Simple as that. Actions will always speak louder than words. 

Money is never an enjoyable topic of conversation. We all sweat when faced with money talk especially with close friends. But you did your friends a favor and it is your right to be reimbursed. It is not a question or a grey area. Good friends do not screw over good friends. Period. 

Wishing you the grit to get this taken care of as soon as possible. Be candid and direct. Do not make excuses for people who take advantage of your kindness. You got this, friend. This will be solved in no time and you will all be on to your next concert soon - maybe this time with payment before the purchase of the tickets. Good luck! xo