DATING MY OLD COACH: UPDATE

Last month I wrote in about dating my old soccer coach. We had a really great conversation about our timeline for telling people and for going more public with our relationship. Well, we met each others families and close friends recently and we are spending Thanksgiving with my parents and extended family. I’m so nervous my family is going to argue or say something embarrassing!!

I’m so glad to hear you are taking things slow and steady towards your future. Navigating family gatherings can be literally horrifying, especially of there are strong opinions and personalities in the mix. 

Unfortunately you can not control others and what they say, do or feel. I do not know how controversial your family is, but you could try to have a conversation with them beforehand explaining you want everyone on their best behavior. Calling them out like this could go over well and everyone could be a bit censored, or they could take total offense. Hopefully, everyone will be receptive.

The other method of maintaining a shred of control is to start conversations with neutral topics and redirect more sensitive ones. Neutral ground could be sharing old happy memories, explaining traditions, talking about sports, movies, music, books, hobbies, or any other topic that does not hold too much emotional weight. If someone begins to bring up money, politics, religion, family drama; try to redirect the conversation to avoid people getting into it too deeply. This strategy may leave you running around the whole day eves dropping on a lot of topics waiting to steer people I a new direction, which sounds totally exhausting. 

I honestly think the best thing to do is to give your man a little pep talk and walk in united and ready to have a good time, no matter how anyone else acts. As long as no one is being directly disrespectful to either of you, you do not have to participate in any nefarious conversations. You actually do not even have to be present if you don’t want to. Go for a walk or excuse yourself to wash some dishes if things start to get heated. Protect each others peace as best you can and try not to stress about it too much. 

My gut is telling me most of the conversation at this dinner table will be questions about your new budding relationship and how happy you both seem, not conversation about the election. Keep your attitude positive, have some answers ready for awkward questions, check in with each other, and other than that - eat, drink and be merry. Good luck and happy Thanksgiving!