DATING A MAMA'S BOY

I love my boyfriend so much and our relationship is great but there is one problem, him and his mom are weirdly close. They call each other constantly and have "dates" together. She "jokes" about how he loved her first. The mama's boy thing is such an ick for me and I'm nervous how she would act as a mother in law, or even grandma. Do I voice an opinion about this or just let it go and be respectful. Help!

Oh girl, you are NOT overreacting. There’s close, and then there’s weirdly close, and from the sound of it, his mom is toeing that line hard. The fact that she’s out here making “he loved me first” comments and scheduling dates with her own son like she’s his girlfriend? Yeah, that’s not just a cute, loving bond—that’s some territorial mother energy, and it’s giving you the ick for a reason.

Now do I think you should you say something? Absolutely. But the key here is how you do it. Coming in hot with “Your mom is weird and suffocating” is going to backfire fast. People are defensive and territorial about their family. Instead, keep it casual but firm. Express how much you respect their bond, but make it clear that some things they do make you uncomfortable. Explain how you feel left out and like a second choice at times. Express how that feels unnatural to you. If he dismisses you, that’s your first big red flag. A man who’s ready to be a partner will set healthy boundaries with his mom, and everyone else in his life for that matter. A man who lets his mother run the show? That’s a lifetime of frustration waiting to happen.

Let’s be so for real—if this dynamic is already making you cringe, it’s only going to get worse when marriage and kids enter the picture. Imagine fighting with your mother-in-law over how to raise your children because she still thinks she’s the #1 woman in your husbands life. Imagine planning a wedding this this woman’s involvement, or Christmas morning with them. If you don’t set boundaries now, you’ll be stuck competing with her forever. So, speak up, watch how he reacts, and if he refuses to see the issue? That’s your answer right there.

Dealing with a mama’s boy isn’t just about his mom, it’s about him and whether he’s willing to set boundaries. If he prioritizes her feelings over yours, lets her make passive-aggressive comments at you, or acts like he still needs her approval, that’s a walking red flag for your future. Don’t compete with her, but don’t shrink either—stay confident, set the tone for the relationship, and watch how he responds. If he listens and steps up, great. If he shuts you down or expects you to just deal with it? Run now, because breaking up with a man is easy but breaking up with his mom is impossible.

Good luck navigating this conversation with him! Fingers crossed he sees where you are coming from and can adjust his boundaries accordingly. Xo