BREAK UP, LEVEL UP

My ex is moving on and I hate it. After being together for four years, my boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue. He gave me a bunch of excuses like we’re just not happy anymore and he needs to work on himself for a while and be on his own. Its been a few weeks now and he’s just posting on social media having the time of his life partying and traveling. I have a hunch that maybe he was cheating or at least had wandering eyes but I’m not sure. I was so blindsided by this breakup I’m devastated and he seems totally fine. I’m sad and angry but mostly confused. Please help me make sense if this.

Girly respectfully—he didn’t need time to work on himself, he needed time to line up his next move. He fed you the tired “I need to work on myself” line, only to turn around and start living his best life overnight? That’s not growth, that’s performance. I have a hard time buying that he needed space after four years of partnership. Sounds like he needed an exit strategy that made him look like a decent guy when he really just didn't have what it took to be a solid partner. The "I need to be alone" excuse is a classic breakup line used when they don’t have the guts to communicate their full feelings and work through a hard truth. 

Him being out here partying like he just won the lottery tells you everything you need to know. Of course, he could just be faking it til he makes it, but even if thats the case, a happy gym selfie or a night out with friends would be normal and appropriate, not vacations, girls and bars. That’s not real healing, that’s distraction. And at some point, that high is going to wear off. Meanwhile, you’re sitting in your feelings, and as painful as it is, that means you’re actually processing this. That means when you come out on the other side, you’ll be stronger, smarter, and miles out of his league.This seems like a celebration of singleness on his end and its just not the vibe. There are deeply unwell people out there who are simply not capable of carrying out a commitment to another person. He sounds impulsive and immature. In my opinion, this man knows he’s not good enough for you deep down, and you should too. 

From here on out, this isn’t about him anymore, it’s about you. You don’t need to "make sense" of him at all, because you can’t make sense of crazy. You need to reclaim your energy. You gave four years, and now he’s showing you exactly why he didn’t deserve five. Let him have his social media highlight reel while you focus on your real life glow up. Get mad, get motivated, and get moving. The best revenge is living a life so full that you don’t even remember why you chose a person like him in the first place. Take all that sadness, all that anger, and flip it. Put that energy back into yourself. Try something new, change your hair, surround yourself with good people. Make moves he would never see coming. Because while he’s out there posting a highlight reel, you’re actually building something real. On the other side of this, there will be a version of you that doesn’t just move on, but levels up.

I promise you one day you’ll look back and wonder why you ever wasted a tear on this guy. Goodbye and good riddance. You don’t deserve any of this but everything happens for a reason. Your new life starts now, girly. xo