BAD HOOKUP KILLS THE SPARK

I have been on a few dates with a new guy. Last night we started hooking up and he got way too sloppy. The kissing was BAD. It gave me the biggest ick even though the dates have been so good. Is it possible to have zero physical chemistry with someone even if everything else clicks? Or is this something people can actually work on?

There’s nothing like a bad hookup to make all those cute date memories evaporate in one confusing swoop. First, take a breath: this doesn’t automatically mean it’s over. Bad kissing isn’t always a dealbreaker. But I guess it does depend on how bad we’re talking. Are we in "needs a little coaching" territory or does kissing this man feel like a full blown attack.

Physical chemistry isn’t always instant, and sometimes it genuinely just takes time to sync up. Kissing someone new is like dancing with a stranger — some people naturally find your rhythm, and others need a few tries (or a gentle nudge). If everything else with this guy is solid, it might be worth giving him one more shot with some guidance. A well-timed “I like it when you go slower” or “Can I show you what I like?” can do wonders without bruising egos. The goal is to make it feel playful, not like a performance review. 

If the moment has passed and you’re not in the mood to guide mid-makeout, you can also bring it up casually outside the heat of the moment. Something like, “Can I be honest? You’re really attractive, but I think we like to kiss a little differently — wanna experiment a little next time?” It keeps the vibe light, invites curiosity, and gives him a chance to adjust.

Some people are bad kissers because they’re nervous, out of sync, or trying too hard to impress. If he’s open, teachable, and into you, he’ll want to get it right — and honestly, that can end up being kind of hot. But if he’s defensive or totally oblivious to your cues, don’t waste your time teaching the basics to a dude who doesn’t deserve you anyway.

That all said — if your whole body recoiled and you're already dreading the next kiss, that’s a definite clue in how you are really feeling. Chemistry isn’t just about compatibility; it’s about how your bodies communicate. If having a physical connection totally killed the spark, its okay to cut your losses here and find someone new who is more in sync with you.

Bottom line? It can be fixed — but only if you're still genuinely attracted to him and he’s not defensive about a little direction. If the thought of another kiss gives you the same feeling as wet socks, trust your gut and move on. Dating is hard and you don’t click with every person on every level. The good news is this is the natural way to filter out the wrong people and find the right one! Best wishes, happy kissing! Xo